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This Morning…

When I got up this morning the first thing I did was kiss Chuck Norris right on the lips. My second task included giving him a good kick to the balls with his favorite orange shoes. As he rolled on the wrestling mat holding a frozen turkey to his groin and squealing in pain he thanked me over and over again.

Then my phone rang. It was the Chaos Pope about my cookie order with the Gender-Neutral Scouts.

My bank account was $350k short. I dropped my phone. Trouble. Trouble with a capital “T”.